Snowbombing 2012 presents to you… The Craft of Daft!
Snowbombing: It’s not just about the snow and music you know. There’re the sausages too! And our resident silly sausages RAFFLE MAFIA have revealed the following programme of snowbound stuff ’n’ nonsense.
The line up of loon looks like this…
Daily Pop-Up Raffles! – Just the Ticket!
With an undisclosed budget and free tickets for all who enter, expect big winners… and even bigger prizes! Having hit numerous festivals and raves, this is raffle like no other. Gobshite Bingo Banton is your host, as (semi-)professional DJ Smash Hits creates the 4D audio soundscape (whilst fielding irate calls from ‘Samantha’s in Runcorn , who allege he blew their PA with ‘Hi Ho Silver Lining’ as he brought his cousin Janine’s 50th to a shuddering climax back in October).
Musical Tents – Fun between the Flaps
10 tents. 100 people. Music stops. Get in a tent. Do the maths; this is dangerous. Not since Anya, the farmer’s daughter, skied Red 7 naked for a bet, have the Alps witnessed so many temporary erections.
Raffle Mafia presents ‘Smile & Rave’
Known for getting off their fat faces on too much ‘jelly and ice cream’ this party never fails to turn into low-budget, hands-in-the-air, 90’s gurn bonanza! With DJ Smash Hits and Klose One’s super duo, ‘Fun Snaps’, an ecstatic time will doubtlessly be had by cheesy quavers just lapping up the glow sticks, whistles, confetti-cannons and fist-pumping 90’s dance bangers. All together now, “It’s a good life! (“Good life, good life, good life, good life”)…sorted, mate!
Dancehall Musical Bumps – Get Down!!!
Crazily conceived in a humble lounge with 10 people (don’t ask…) this ‘latest dance floor craze’ (copyright ‘Which Lino?’ Magazine) has witnessed over 300 people at any one time dramatically drop to the floor in the middle of a packed rave. It’s a game of patience, technique and most of all bruised buttocks. Wind that bumper and when the riddim stops, hit the floor! Hit the floor….literally!
Pie Fights - Aloe Vera Apocalypse!
Inspired by Bugsy Malone, and set to the theme music, it’s every man/woman/giraffe/Viking for themselves! We use specially-sourced aloe vera infused shaving foam (easy on sensitive skin and allergy-free to-boot. Find a plate…find a mate….Wallop! Slapstick, ja?
Higher or Lower – hosted by Booze Forsythe
Brucie’s classic TV card game – except no adverts and Tess Daly (she’s booked that day at Samantha’s in Runcorn, apparently) – and with alcoholly-orientated prizes for all instead of substantial wads of cash (which you’d only spend on booze in any case so we thought we’d cut straight to the chase) If you win, you get booze…and if you lose you get booze! Which only goes to prove that it’s not just losers who drink. ‘Good game, good game!’.
Pass the Parcel – Calling all Tearaways!
Deconstructing the best of the UK wrap scene whilst tearing up a bundle; everyone loves a game of pass the parcel (especially Sellotape Ltd)….Launch it, pass it but don’t hold on to it. You know the rules!
Fishing for Idiots – Sharing the Love
Like DIY, X-Factor and an orgy, Snowbombing is all about participation. But unlike DIY, X-Factor and an orgy, you won’t get sore fingers, a big phone bill or someone ejaculating in your left ear. The Raffle Mafia will be out and about throughout the week and distributing their instruments of idiocy and mirth-laden gift packs! So if you see any of them wandering dazed and confused, you’re welcome to approach them and ask them for one (or as Mr. Whippy the Ice Cream Man used to say before he was locked up for that regrettable incident with Miss Highgrove at the School Summer fete…‘Stop me and buy one!’
If you’re wondering what the Raffle Mafia boys get up to in the Summertime, have a look at their teaser below…
